{"id":9839,"date":"2025-10-07T11:46:58","date_gmt":"2025-10-07T11:46:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.targeticon.com\/en-coaching\/articles\/aile-kurmak-mi-aile-olmak-mi\/"},"modified":"2025-10-22T22:44:51","modified_gmt":"2025-10-22T22:44:51","slug":"aile-kurmak-mi-aile-olmak-mi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/aile-kurmak-mi-aile-olmak-mi\/","title":{"rendered":"Aile Kurmak M\u0131, Aile Olmak M\u0131?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Aileyi, sadece nik\u00e2hla kurulan bir kurumdan \u00f6teye ta\u015f\u0131y\u0131p sevgi ve sayg\u0131n\u0131n ye\u015ferdi\u011fi bir yuvaya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in de\u011fi\u015fim \u015fart. Kendi geli\u015fimimize odaklanarak, hem kendimizi hem de ailemizi daha iyi bir noktaya getirmek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn. <\/strong><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

Bir \u015firket kurduk, ad\u0131n\u0131 koyduk, logosunu, hatta \u00fcr\u00fcnlerini bile haz\u0131rlad\u0131k diyelim. \u0130\u015fimiz burada biter mi? Kurduktan sonra \u201cBu \u015firketi nas\u0131l geli\u015ftirebilir, daha iyi bir h\u00e2le getirebilir, k\u00e2r ettirebilirim?\u201d diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmemiz gerekmez mi? Zira d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmez ve gayret g\u00f6stermezsek g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda gelir elde edemedi\u011fi i\u00e7in y\u0131k\u0131labilir hayallerimiz. Aileyi de manevi bir \u015firket olarak d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrsek; onu da sadece nik\u00e2h yoluyla olu\u015fan ve soyad\u0131yla an\u0131lan bir kurum olmaktan \u00e7\u0131karmak, i\u00e7erisinde sevgi ve sayg\u0131n\u0131n ye\u015ferdi\u011fi bir yuvaya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrmek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn. Yeter ki biz aile kurmaktan ziyade aile olmaya odaklanabilelim. \u0130mzam\u0131z\u0131 sadece evlenmek i\u00e7in nik\u00e2h defterine de\u011fil; asl\u0131nda e\u015fimiz, olacaksa \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z, ama en \u00f6nemlisi kendimiz i\u00e7in de\u011fi\u015fip d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015fmeye atal\u0131m. <\/p>\n\n

Sen De\u011fi\u015f Ki Ailen De De\u011fi\u015fsin!<\/h2>\n\n

Yarat\u0131l\u0131\u015f itibariyle olumlu y\u00f6nde geli\u015fim ve de\u011fi\u015fimi istemek \u00fczere programlanm\u0131\u015f varl\u0131klar\u0131z. Kulluk mantalitemiz de tamamen insan\u0131n kendinden daha \u00fcst modelini \u00e7\u0131karmas\u0131 \u00fczerine kurulu. Bu anlay\u0131\u015fa g\u00f6re \u201cevli biz\u201din, \u201cbek\u00e2r biz\u201dden daha iyi bir versiyon olmas\u0131 gerek. Ak\u0131ll\u0131 telefonunu bile \u00fcst modeliyle de\u011fi\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in ma\u011faza \u00f6nlerinde s\u0131ra bekleyen insan, neden kendinden daha k\u00e2mil bir \u00e2dem \u00e7\u0131karmak istemesin ki? Kendimizden daha iyi bir \u201cben\u201d \u00e7\u0131karman\u0131n yuva i\u00e7indeki form\u00fcl\u00fc \u00e7ok basit asl\u0131nda: Sen de\u011fi\u015f ki ailen de\u011fi\u015fsin! Genelde insanlar kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndakine yani de\u011fi\u015ftiremeyece\u011fine odaklan\u0131r. Ancak bak\u0131\u015f\u0131 kendine \u00e7evirmeyle ba\u015fl\u0131yor her \u015fey. <\/p>\n\n

Aile uzman\u0131 ve e\u011fitmen Stephen R. Covey, \u201cBa\u015far\u0131l\u0131 Ailelerin Yedi \u00d6zelli\u011fi\u201d ba\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 alt\u0131nda bu d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcn basamaklar\u0131n\u0131 ve s\u00fcre\u00e7 esnas\u0131nda dikkat edilmesi gerekenleri tek tek anlat\u0131yor. Covey\u2019e g\u00f6re bu yedi \u00f6zelli\u011fi e\u015f ve ebeveyn ili\u015fkisine yerle\u015ftirebilmi\u015f ki\u015filer, ailedeki en b\u00fcy\u00fck ba\u015far\u0131y\u0131 yani huzuru yakalayabiliyor. Gelin, bu yazmas\u0131 ve s\u00f6ylemesi kolay, uygulamas\u0131 ise nispeten zor ama m\u00fcmk\u00fcn maddelere yak\u0131ndan g\u00f6z atal\u0131m. <\/p>\n\n

Fig\u00fcranl\u0131ktan Ba\u015frole Ge\u00e7i\u015f M\u00fcmk\u00fcn<\/h2>\n\n

Mutlu ailelerde ki\u015filer, ili\u015fkinin \u00f6znesidir. \u00d6zne olmak, sorumluluk almak demektir. Ya\u015fananlardan sadece etkilenmeyi de\u011fil, onu bizzat ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftiren olmay\u0131 se\u00e7mektir. Bu tarz insanlar, kurduklar\u0131 c\u00fcmlelerde etken fiiller kullan\u0131r.Olumlu olumsuz ay\u0131rmadan sorumluluk al\u0131r, edilgenli\u011fi tercih etmezler. Gerekti\u011fi zaman fikirlerini ortaya koyabilir ve onlar\u0131n arkas\u0131nda durabilirler. Kendi hayatlar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015frol\u00fcnde olduklar\u0131n\u0131n her zaman fark\u0131ndad\u0131rlar. Ba\u015fkas\u0131na g\u00f6re reaksiyon g\u00f6stermeyi de\u011fil, aksiyon almay\u0131 \u00f6nemserler. <\/p>\n\n

Ger\u00e7ekten Onun Y\u00fcz\u00fcnden Mi?<\/h2>\n\n

Tercihlerimiz, hayatta ne kadar etken oldu\u011fumuzu g\u00f6sterir. \u0130kili ili\u015fkilerimizde \u201cSenin y\u00fcz\u00fcnden\u2026\u201d ile ba\u015flayan c\u00fcmleleri s\u0131k kuruyorsak bu, kendi irademizi k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsemek anlam\u0131na gelir. B\u00f6yle yaparak davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n bir ba\u015fkas\u0131 taraf\u0131ndan y\u00f6netilebilir oldu\u011funu kabul etmi\u015f, se\u00e7me hakk\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 reddetmi\u015f oluruz. H\u00e2lbuki bu hak, bizzat Allah taraf\u0131ndan hepimize verilmi\u015f bir \u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fck ve g\u00fc\u00e7. Yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z her se\u00e7im, hayat d\u00f6ng\u00fcs\u00fcnde nereye gidece\u011fimizi belirleyen yer i\u015faretleri \u00e2deta. Tabii vicdan s\u00fczgecini do\u011fru kullanmak, gerekli tedbirleri alarak yola devam etmek bu noktada \u00e7ok \u00f6nemli. <\/p>\n\n

Duygusal Termitler Umudu Yer<\/h2>\n\n

Ah\u015fab\u0131 i\u00e7ten kemirip yiyen termitler gibi bizim de duygusal olarak yanl\u0131\u015f davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z, birbirimizi olumsuz y\u00f6nlendirmelerimiz; kimli\u011fimizi, aram\u0131zdaki ba\u011f\u0131 ve umudumuzu ne yaz\u0131k ki zedeliyor. Zamanla \u201cArt\u0131k bizden bir \u015fey olmaz!\u201d diyebiliyoruz. E\u011fer huzurlu bir aileye sahip olmay\u0131 se\u00e7tiysek bunun kendi kendine ya da kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakilerin gayretiyle olmayaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmemiz gerekiyor. Bunu biz yapmak zorunday\u0131z. <\/p>\n\n

\u0130\u015fe, hatalar\u0131 kabul etmekle ba\u015flamal\u0131y\u0131z. G\u00fcnah\u0131n\u0131 kabul etmeyenin t\u00f6vbesinin ve dolay\u0131s\u0131yla aff\u0131n\u0131n m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olmamas\u0131 gibi, insan\u0131n da hatalar\u0131ndan ka\u00e7mas\u0131 onu ancak daha kusurlu h\u00e2le getiriyor. Kabul, olumlu anlamdaki de\u011fi\u015fim s\u00fcrecini h\u0131zland\u0131ran en \u00f6nemli fakt\u00f6r. E\u015flerin s\u00fcrekli birbirini su\u00e7lad\u0131\u011f\u0131, kimsenin davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n sorumlulu\u011funu almad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir evde yeti\u015fen \u00e7ocuklar, b\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcklerinde hem kullukta hem de insan ili\u015fkilerinde sorun ya\u015fayabiliyorlar. <\/p>\n\n

Ailenin de Misyonu mu Olurmu\u015f!<\/h2>\n\n

Yaz\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda aileyi manevi bir \u015firkete benzetmi\u015ftik. \u0130\u015fte her \u015firketin oldu\u011fu gibi aile \u015firketimizin de bir misyonu olmal\u0131. Kendi do\u011frular\u0131n\u0131, yanl\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131 fark etmemi\u015f, 5-10-15 y\u0131l sonra nerede olaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hedeflememi\u015f, ortak dili olmayan bir aile, rotas\u0131z yola \u00e7\u0131kan u\u00e7ak gibi benzini bitene kadar havada tur at\u0131p durur ancak. Bir yere varamaz. Elbette her zaman isteklerimiz uymayabilir, tam ortada bulu\u015famayabiliriz. \u00d6nemli olan, ortak hedefi hep beraber belirleyebilmek ve herkesin talebinin gerekti\u011finde ger\u00e7ekle\u015febilece\u011fi adaletli bir ortam olu\u015fturabilmek., <\/p>\n\n

Farkl\u0131 enstr\u00fcmanlar\u0131 kullanan fertler, virt\u00fc\u00f6z dahi olsalar ayn\u0131 notalar\u0131 \u00e7alm\u0131yorlarsa anlaml\u0131 bir m\u00fczik icra edemezler. O y\u00fczden ailenin birlikte bir kimlik in\u015fa etmesi \u00e7ok m\u00fchim. Ortak k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcn ve misyonun olu\u015fabilmesi i\u00e7inse ailenin bir araya gelmesi \u015fart. Fakat maalesef bug\u00fcn hepimiz hayat gailesiyle \u00e7ok me\u015fgul\u00fcz. S\u00fcrekli bir ko\u015fu\u015fturma i\u00e7indeyiz, sanki d\u00fcnyadaki her \u015feyi biz d\u00fczeltecekmi\u015fiz gibi. Yahut k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck d\u00fcnyalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 ak\u0131ll\u0131 sayd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z telefonlar\u0131n i\u00e7ine hapsediyoruz. Yak\u0131nlar\u0131n\u0131 koruyamayan birinin, daha b\u00fcy\u00fck sorunlara \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcm bulabilece\u011fi ironisi ise olduk\u00e7a ilgin\u00e7. Ho\u015f, ailemizle g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ba\u011flar kurmam\u0131z d\u00fcnyay\u0131 kurtarmam\u0131za m\u00e2ni de\u011fil zaten. Ancak i\u015fe d\u0131\u015f d\u00fcnyayla ba\u015flayanlar ne yaz\u0131k ki ailelerini kaybetme tehlikesiyle kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya. Mutlu aileler, sorumluluk al\u0131p hayatlar\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6znesi olmay\u0131 se\u00e7erler. Edilgenlik yerine aksiyon al\u0131r, hatalar\u0131 kabul ederek de\u011fi\u015fimi h\u0131zland\u0131r\u0131rlar. <\/p>\n\n

Aile Zaman\u0131<\/h2>\n\n

Aile misyonu, b\u00fct\u00fcn aile fertlerini ba\u011flayaca\u011f\u0131 i\u00e7in ortak yap\u0131lmas\u0131 gereken bir s\u00f6zle\u015fmedir. Bu s\u00f6zle\u015fmenin maddelerini, \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n da kat\u0131laca\u011f\u0131 ortak zamanlarda belirlemeliyiz. Bu zaman\u0131 nas\u0131l ve ne \u015fekilde ge\u00e7irece\u011fimiz ailemizin \u00f6zel durumuna ve karakteristik \u00f6zelliklerine g\u00f6re de\u011fi\u015fiklik arz edebilir. Kimi aileler masa ba\u015f\u0131nda toplan\u0131p daha kurall\u0131 toplant\u0131lar yapmay\u0131 tercih ederken kimileri yolculuk esnas\u0131nda sohbet k\u0131vam\u0131nda ayn\u0131 kaliteyi yakalayabilir. \u00d6nemli olan, motivasyonumuz ve g\u00fcn\u00fcn sonunda elde etti\u011fimiz neticenin birbirini tutmas\u0131. Misyonun do\u011fru \u015fekilde olu\u015fabilmesi ve t\u00fcm \u00fcyeler taraf\u0131ndan kabul edilebilmesi i\u00e7in belli noktalara dikkat etmekte fayda var: <\/p>\n\n

Herkesin kendini rahat hissedebilece\u011fi, vakit darl\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7ekilmeyen bir ortam ve zaman ayarlanmal\u0131.Ailenin b\u00fct\u00fcn bireyleri s\u00f6z sahibi olmal\u0131.K\u0131sa ve net ifadeler kullan\u0131lmal\u0131, uzun ve s\u0131k\u0131c\u0131 konu\u015fmalardan ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131lmal\u0131.Aileye ait her mesele k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck b\u00fcy\u00fck demeden konu\u015fulabilmeli.Kararlar, ihtiya\u00e7lara g\u00f6re yenilenebilmeli.Konu\u015fulanlar unutulmas\u0131n diye not edilmeli.Ortak al\u0131nan kararlar aile misyon bildirgesinde \u00f6zet olarak yaz\u0131lmal\u0131.Bildirge d\u00fczeltmeye a\u00e7\u0131k olmal\u0131 ve istenirse uygun bir yere as\u0131lmal\u0131.Bu birliktelikler, belirli zaman aral\u0131\u011f\u0131nda s\u00fcrekli yap\u0131lmal\u0131, al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131k h\u00e2line getirilmeli.<\/p>\n\n

Peki, aile zaman\u0131 sadece problemlerin konu\u015fuldu\u011fu, kararlar\u0131n al\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131 ciddi bir toplant\u0131dan m\u0131 ibaret olmal\u0131? Tabii ki hay\u0131r! Sevgi ve sayg\u0131 ile harmanlanan sohbet ortamlar\u0131m\u0131z da aile zaman\u0131na dahildir. Yuvada bu muhabbetler en \u00e7ok sofrada ba\u015flar, \u00e7ay saatinde de demiyle devam eder. Ayn\u0131 masa etraf\u0131nda g\u00fcn\u00fcn yorgunlu\u011funu atmaya, ne\u015feyi ve kederi payla\u015fmaya, d\u00fcnyaya dair merak edilenleri sorgulamaya vesile bu muhabbetler olmad\u0131ktan sonra sadece aile toplant\u0131lar\u0131yla samimi birliktelikler elde etmemiz pek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fcyor. <\/p>\n\n

Ailem Ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 S\u0131rada?<\/h2>\n\n

Aileyi kurduk, misyonu olu\u015fturduk. S\u0131ra geldi bu misyona hizmet eden eylemleri, kendi i\u015f-g\u00fc\u00e7 ve isteklerimizle dengelemeye. Bu dengeyi sa\u011flayan en \u00f6nemli unsur, \u00f6ncelikler listemizi belirlemek. Kendimize y\u00f6neltmemiz gereken do\u011fru soru \u015fu: \u201cAilem bu listenin neresinde yer al\u0131yor?\u201d <\/p>\n\n

Covey, bu konuyu kendi tecr\u00fcbesini payla\u015farak anlat\u0131yor kitab\u0131nda. Asistan\u0131ndan, y\u0131ll\u0131k plan\u0131n\u0131 haz\u0131rlarken \u00f6ncelikle aileye dair \u00f6zel g\u00fcnleri, tatilleri, ma\u00e7lar\u0131, doktor i\u015flerini takvime yerle\u015ftirmesini rica ediyor. Geri kalan bo\u015fluklara ise dan\u0131\u015fan randevular\u0131n\u0131 yerle\u015ftiriyor. Peki biz Covey gibi mi yap\u0131yoruz yoksa k\u0131ymetlilerimizle vakit ge\u00e7irmek i\u00e7in ba\u015fka i\u015flerden f\u0131rsat kalmas\u0131n\u0131 m\u0131 bekliyoruz? Aileyi \u00f6n s\u0131raya yerle\u015ftirmek, onlardan ba\u015fka bir i\u015fle me\u015fgul olmamak de\u011fil elbette. Amac\u0131m\u0131z, bu s\u0131ralamada birbirimize verdi\u011fimiz de\u011feri ve \u00f6nemi hissettirebilmek. <\/p>\n\n

\u00d6ncelikler listesini do\u011fru belirleyebilmek, biraz da kendimizi ve de\u011fer yarg\u0131lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 tan\u0131maktan ge\u00e7iyor. Amerikan eski ba\u015fkan\u0131 Eisenhower\u2019\u0131n bir s\u00f6z\u00fc var: \u201c\u00d6nemli olan nadiren acildir, acil olansa nadiren \u00f6nemlidir.\u201d O zaman i\u015fe, neyin \u00f6nemli neyin acil oldu\u011funu ay\u0131rt etmekle ba\u015flamak gerek. Hayat\u0131m\u0131zdaki her \u015feyi \u201cacil-\u00f6nemli\u201d, \u201cacil de\u011fil-\u00f6nemli\u201d, \u201cacil-\u00f6nemli de\u011fil\u201d, \u201cacil de\u011fil-\u00f6nemli de\u011fil\u201d s\u0131ralamas\u0131yla listeledi\u011fimizi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcn. Neyi, hangi s\u0131rayla yapaca\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, nelere evet nelere hay\u0131r diyece\u011fimizi, hangi \u015feylerin ger\u00e7ek sorumluluklar\u0131m\u0131z, hangilerinin \u00fcst\u00fcm\u00fcze zorla yap\u0131\u015fan \u015feyler oldu\u011funu ay\u0131rt edebilece\u011fiz. Yang\u0131nda ilk kurtar\u0131lacaklar listesi gibi bu s\u0131ralama sayesinde kendi protokol\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc olu\u015fturabilece\u011fiz. <\/p>\n\n

Herkes Ayn\u0131 Anda Kazan\u0131yor<\/h2>\n\n

Aile olarak hepimiz ayn\u0131 tak\u0131m\u0131n oyuncusuyuz. Galatasaray-Fenerbah\u00e7e derbisi gibi gergin bir kar\u015f\u0131la\u015fma yok bizim evimizde. Dolay\u0131s\u0131yla \u00e7ocuklar\u0131m\u0131z da acaba Galatasaray\u2019\u0131 m\u0131 yoksa Fenerbah\u00e7e\u2019yi mi se\u00e7sek diye tart\u0131\u015fm\u0131yor. Peki, sahiden b\u00f6yle mi? Bana bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda e\u015fimi, e\u015fime bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda k\u0131smen de olsa beni g\u00f6rebiliyor mu \u00e7ocu\u011fum? Yoksa kim gol atacak ya da en az\u0131ndan averaj fark\u0131ndan \u015fampiyon olacak, onu mu hesapl\u0131yor? H\u00e2lbuki hep beraber kazanamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z bir yuvada hepimiz kaybetmi\u015fiz demektir. <\/p>\n\n

\u0130li\u015fkilerde hedefimiz her zaman \u201ckazan-kazan\u201d formu olmal\u0131. Bunun i\u00e7in de tak\u0131m \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 \u015fart. Evlili\u011fi duygusal bir yar\u0131\u015f olarak g\u00f6rmedi\u011fimiz s\u00fcrece bir \u015fekilde herkesin mutlu ve huzurlu olmas\u0131 m\u00fcmk\u00fcn. \u0130ksir, \u201cbizlik\u201d prensibinde. Bunu kimyasal bir form\u00fclle a\u00e7\u0131klayal\u0131m. Nas\u0131l hidrojen ve oksijen birle\u015fti\u011finde kendi \u00f6zlerinden bamba\u015fka bir madde olu\u015fturuyorsa, ili\u015fki kimyas\u0131nda da iki farkl\u0131 birey yeni bir organizmay\u0131 olu\u015fturur. Bu yeni organizma, iki e\u015ften izler ta\u015f\u0131r elbette ama aynen su \u00f6rne\u011finde oldu\u011fu gibi ne tam hidrojendir ne de tam oksijen. Duygu bankas\u0131nda ortak hesab\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n oldu\u011fu bilincinde ili\u015fkiye yat\u0131r\u0131m yapan her aile kazan\u0131r olabildi\u011fince. <\/p>\n\n

Anla\u015f\u0131lmak m\u0131 Anlamak m\u0131?<\/h2>\n\n

Her insan\u0131n ortak bir dile\u011fi var bu d\u00fcnyada: Anla\u015f\u0131lmak! Zaten sosyal ili\u015fkiler kurmam\u0131z\u0131n, hatta evlenmemizin bile ana motivasyonu bu iste\u011fe dayan\u0131yor. Yoksa da\u011f\u0131n ba\u015f\u0131nda tek ba\u015f\u0131m\u0131za da mutlu mesut ya\u015far, sosyal bir varl\u0131k olmazd\u0131k. Fakat bunun i\u00e7in \u00f6nce kar\u015f\u0131m\u0131zdakini anlamam\u0131z gerekiyor. <\/p>\n\n

Bir Ne\u015fet Erta\u015f t\u00fcrk\u00fcs\u00fcnde, \u201cKalpten kalbe bir yol vard\u0131r.\u201d diyor ya, i\u015fte o g\u00f6r\u00fcnmez yolda ileti\u015fimin sa\u011flanmas\u0131 i\u00e7in birbirimizi sadece kulaklar\u0131m\u0131zla i\u015fitmeye de\u011fil, akl\u0131m\u0131zla ve kalbimizle de duymaya ihtiyac\u0131m\u0131z var. Bu, h\u00e2kim, savc\u0131, avukat ya da j\u00fcri \u00fcyesi olmadan ileti\u015fim kurmak demek. Yani anla\u015f\u0131lmak ve anlamak zaman, sab\u0131r, odaklanma, duyarl\u0131l\u0131k, empati, sayg\u0131 ve \u015fefkat istiyor. Birbirini anlamayan insanlar\u0131n ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00e7at\u0131ya da yuva denmiyor. <\/p>\n\n

Aileyi \u00f6nceli\u011fe alarak, kendi hayat dengemizi olu\u015fturmak zorunday\u0131z. Aile i\u00e7i ili\u015fkilerde kazan-kazan felsefesi, tak\u0131m \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131 ve sinerji olu\u015fturmak esast\u0131r. Ba\u015far\u0131, bireylerin birbirini anlamas\u0131 ve sorumluluk almas\u0131yla gelir. Aile olmak emek, sab\u0131r ve s\u00fcrekli bir \u00e7aba gerektirir. <\/p>\n\n

Aile Matemati\u011fi Farkl\u0131 \u00c7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor<\/h2>\n\n

S\u0131ra geldi bu g\u00fczel aile tak\u0131m\u0131n\u0131n sahada oyununu sergilemesine. Bu oyunun ba\u015far\u0131 s\u0131rr\u0131 sinerji olu\u015fturmas\u0131nda. Yoksa tak\u0131m h\u00e2linde sahaya \u00e7\u0131ksak da verimimiz d\u00fc\u015febilir. Ya da iyi oynasak da gol atamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in bazen ma\u00e7\u0131 kaybedebiliriz. Nas\u0131l m\u0131? <\/p>\n\n

E\u015fler aras\u0131nda ger\u00e7ekle\u015fen \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmada, hesap genelde \u201c1+1= Yar\u0131m\u201d yap\u0131yor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc tart\u0131\u015fma esnas\u0131nda illaki birbirimizden bir \u015fey eksiltiyor ve bir t\u00fcrl\u00fc ikiye tamamlanam\u0131yoruz. Anla\u015fma durumunda ise en az birimizin iste\u011finden taviz verdi\u011fimiz i\u00e7in \u201c1+1= 1,5\u201d olabiliyor. Tak\u0131m \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131nda toplam biraz daha art\u0131yor ve nihayet ikiyi elde edebiliyoruz. Ama sinerjide e\u015fitlik \u00fc\u00e7e kadar y\u00fckseliyor. <\/p>\n\n

\u201c1+1 nas\u0131l 3 yapar?\u201d dedi\u011finizi duyar gibiyim. \u0130\u015fte o ekstra 1 de ortak hesaba yat\u0131r\u0131m\u0131n k\u00e2r pay\u0131. Buna ili\u015fkinin bereketi de diyebiliriz. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc sinerjiyi sa\u011flamak isteyen \u00e7iftler, gurur yerine tevazuyu se\u00e7er. Ortak g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc yanlar\u0131n\u0131 \u00e7o\u011falt\u0131p bireysel zay\u0131fl\u0131klar\u0131n\u0131 aile i\u00e7inde yok ederler. Hatta \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131n da zaman zaman liderlik etmesine izin verip onlar\u0131n da aile de\u011ferine katk\u0131 sa\u011flamalar\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6n\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7arlar. <\/p>\n\n

Kendimizi de Unutmayal\u0131m<\/h2>\n\n

Makalenin ba\u015f\u0131ndan beri sayd\u0131klar\u0131m\u0131z elbette emek, sab\u0131r ve g\u00fc\u00e7 isteyen \u015feyler. Aile olmak, onu kurmaktan \u00e7ok daha zor. \u0130nsan t\u00fcm bunlardan yoruldu\u011funda yine \u00f6z\u00fcne d\u00f6nme ihtiyac\u0131 hissediyor. Kendi maneviyat\u0131na ula\u015f\u0131p motive olmak istiyor. Zira \u00f6nce g\u00fc\u00e7 toplamas\u0131 sonra da bu anlaml\u0131 m\u00fccadelesine kald\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerden devam etmesi gerekiyor. Bunun i\u00e7in de nas\u0131l aile zamanlar\u0131m\u0131z varsa ve \u00f6nemliyse kendimize ait \u00f6zel zamanlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n da olmas\u0131 \u015fart. Ara ara kendimize 2-3 saatlik alanlar tan\u0131yabiliriz. E\u015fler aras\u0131nda zaman zaman oyuncu de\u011fi\u015fikli\u011fine gidip ev i\u00e7i sorumluklarda payla\u015f\u0131m yaparak birbirimizi dinlendirebiliriz. Bunun d\u0131\u015f\u0131nda ailecek de rutinden uzakla\u015fmaya, tebdilimek\u00e2na ihtiya\u00e7 duymam\u0131z \u00e7ok do\u011fal. Birlikte \u00e7\u0131k\u0131lan tatiller, uzun yolculuklar ve biriktirilen hat\u0131ralar, e\u015fler ve \u00e7ocuklar aras\u0131nda ba\u011flar\u0131 kuvvetlendiren tutkal etkisi g\u00f6r\u00fcyor. <\/p>\n\n

Yolda Kalmaya da Var m\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<\/h2>\n\n

Aile olmak tek seferlik bir eylem de\u011fil. \u0130mzay\u0131 at\u0131nca i\u015f bitmiyor, tam tersine ba\u015fl\u0131yor ve \u00f6lene kadar da -Allah\u2019\u0131n izniyle- devam ediyor. Evet bu yolculuk kolay de\u011fil, ama pes etmek yazm\u0131yor bizim kitab\u0131m\u0131zda. O zaman tekerimiz patlarsa de\u011fi\u015ftirece\u011fiz. Arabam\u0131z\u0131n motorunda s\u0131k\u0131nt\u0131 olursa tamir edece\u011fiz, benzinimiz biterse dolduraca\u011f\u0131z; ama aile olarak kalmak istedi\u011fimiz m\u00fcddet\u00e7e o arabay\u0131 yoldan \u00e7ekmeyece\u011fiz. Bir anda mucizevi \u00e7\u00f6z\u00fcmler beklemeyece\u011fiz. \u0130\u015fe kendimizden ba\u015flayacak ve \u00f6rnek olaca\u011f\u0131z. Ba\u015fka ailelere imrenmek yerine kendi aile hik\u00e2yemizi yazaca\u011f\u0131z. <\/p>\n\n

Ailem Ka\u00e7\u0131nc\u0131 S\u0131rada?<\/h2>\n\n

Aileyi kurduk, misyonu olu\u015fturduk. S\u0131ra geldi bu misyona hizmet eden eylemleri, kendi i\u015f-g\u00fc\u00e7 ve isteklerimizle dengelemeye. Bu dengeyi sa\u011flayan en \u00f6nemli unsur, \u00f6ncelikler listemizi belirlemek. Kendimize y\u00f6neltmemiz gereken do\u011fru soru \u015fu: \u201cAilem bu listenin neresinde yer al\u0131yor?\u201dCovey, bu konuyu kendi tecr\u00fcbesini payla\u015farak anlat\u0131yor kitab\u0131nda. Asistan\u0131ndan, y\u0131ll\u0131k plan\u0131n\u0131 haz\u0131rlarken \u00f6ncelikle aileye dair \u00f6zel g\u00fcnleri, tatilleri, ma\u00e7lar\u0131, doktor i\u015flerini takvime yerle\u015ftirmesini rica ediyor. Geri kalan bo\u015fluklara ise dan\u0131\u015fan randevular\u0131n\u0131 yerle\u015ftiriyor. Peki biz Covey gibi mi yap\u0131yoruz yoksa k\u0131ymetlilerimizle vakit ge\u00e7irmek i\u00e7in ba\u015fka i\u015flerden f\u0131rsat kalmas\u0131n\u0131 m\u0131 bekliyoruz? Aileyi \u00f6n s\u0131raya yerle\u015ftirmek, <\/p>\n\n

1. De\u011fi\u015fime Kendimizden Ba\u015flamak<\/h4>\n\n

\u0130nsan eliyle ortaya konan teknolojik \u00fcr\u00fcnler bile geli\u015ftirilebilirken onlar\u0131 \u00fcreten insan\u0131n yedisinde neyse yetmi\u015finde o olmas\u0131 yaman bir \u00e7eli\u015fki de\u011fil mi? Kemal\u00e2t i\u00e7in, hep daha iyi olma yolunda bir yolcuyuz hepimiz ve asl\u0131nda de\u011fi\u015ftirebilece\u011fimiz tek \u015fey kendimiziz. <\/p>\n\n

2. \u0130li\u015fkide Sorumluluk Almak ve \u00d6nderlik Etmek<\/h4>\n\n

Koca \u015firketleri, okullar\u0131 y\u00f6neten, i\u015f tan\u0131m\u0131ndaki sorumluluklar\u0131 rahatl\u0131kla ta\u015f\u0131yabilen insan; aile idaresine gelince o kadar ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olamayabiliyor. Davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n bedelinin fark\u0131nda olan bireyler hem dikkatli hareket ediyor hem de olas\u0131 hatalar\u0131 kolayca telafi edebiliyor. <\/p>\n\n

3. Davran\u0131\u015ftan \u00d6nce Anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 De\u011fi\u015ftirmek<\/h4>\n\n

De\u011fi\u015fime davran\u0131\u015flardan ba\u015flamak, d\u00fcnk\u00fc yeme\u011fin \u00fczerine ba\u015fka bir \u015fey ekleyip sofraya geri getirmek gibidir. De\u011fi\u015fimin bizde i\u00e7sel bir h\u00e2le gelebilmesi i\u00e7in bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmemiz gerekiyor. Bak\u0131\u015f a\u00e7\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirmek i\u00e7in de ona yol a\u00e7an duygular\u0131 fark etmemiz laz\u0131m. <\/p>\n\n

4. Aile \u00dcyelerinin G\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc Y\u00f6nlerine Odaklanmay\u0131 Se\u00e7mek<\/h4>\n\n

Bilin\u00e7alt\u0131m\u0131z negatif dosyalar\u0131 daha \u00f6nde tutan bir mekanizmad\u0131r. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc onun birinci g\u00f6revi insan\u0131 korumakt\u0131r, mutlu etmek de\u011fil. Bu sebeple ailemizin de \u00f6nce eksik taraflar\u0131n\u0131 hat\u0131rlar\u0131z \u00e7o\u011fu zaman. Fakat nas\u0131l kimse yetersiz hissederek yeterli h\u00e2le gelmiyorsa eksikliklere odaklan\u0131lan bir aileden de tamamlanmas\u0131 beklenemez. <\/p>\n\n

5. Aileyi de Bireysel De\u011fi\u015fimimize Ortak Etmek<\/h4>\n\n

Biz de\u011fi\u015fmeye ba\u015flad\u0131k\u00e7a aile denklemimiz de ister istemez farkl\u0131 bir de\u011fer kazanacak. Nas\u0131l iki rengin kar\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131nda bir renk de\u011fi\u015fince kar\u0131\u015f\u0131m\u0131n en az\u0131ndan tonu de\u011fi\u015firse, tek bir ki\u015fi bile sebat ederse koca bir ailenin g\u00fczel bir y\u00f6nde ba\u015fkala\u015fmas\u0131na sebep olabilir. <\/p>\n\n

6. Sab\u0131rl\u0131 ve Ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i Olmak, Anl\u0131k De\u011fi\u015fim Beklememek<\/h4>\n\n

\u201cBu kadar okuyoruz, yard\u0131m al\u0131yoruz ama niye h\u00e2l\u00e2 ayn\u0131 \u015feyleri tekrarl\u0131yoruz, ayn\u0131 k\u0131s\u0131r d\u00f6ng\u00fcn\u00fcn i\u00e7erisinde debelenip duruyoruz?\u201d diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnebiliriz. \u0130nsan oldu\u011fumuzu unutmadan, sab\u0131rl\u0131 ve ger\u00e7ek\u00e7i olaca\u011f\u0131z. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc ki\u015fisel geli\u015fim gibi ailesel ve ili\u015fkisel geli\u015fim de \u00e7ok sab\u0131r ve emek isteyen, zaman zaman da oldu\u011fumuz yerde say\u0131yormu\u015fuz gibi hissettiren bir s\u00fcre\u00e7. <\/p>\n\n

7. Rodeo At\u0131n\u0131 Bile S\u00fcrebilmek<\/h4>\n\n

Herkes midilli atlar\u0131n\u0131 kolayca s\u00fcrebilir. Marifet rodeo at\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrebilmekte! Tabii ki zorluklar olacakt\u0131r. Hatta at bizi bazen \u00fcst\u00fcnden bile atmak isteyebilir. Ama sabredersek en az\u0131ndan \u201cBen gayret ettim ve elimden geleni yapt\u0131m.\u201d k\u0131sm\u0131n\u0131 tamamlam\u0131\u015f olaca\u011f\u0131z. <\/p>\n\n

Ki\u015fisel de\u011fi\u015fim, aileye de yans\u0131r. Sorumluluk alarak \u00f6nderlik eden bireyler, aile i\u00e7inde g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc y\u00f6nlere odaklan\u0131p pozitif d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcmler ba\u015flatabilir. De\u011fi\u015fim aniden de\u011fil, sab\u0131r ve ger\u00e7ek\u00e7ilikle ad\u0131m ad\u0131m ger\u00e7ekle\u015fir. <\/p>\n\n

Starting a Family or Becoming One?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

To transform the family from merely a legal institution established through marriage into a loving and respectful home, change is essential<\/strong>. By focusing on our own development, it\u2019s possible to elevate not only ourselves but also our families. <\/p>\n\n

Imagine we started a company: we gave it a name, designed its logo, even prepared its products. Is that the end of the job? Of course not. We would need to think: “How can I grow this company, improve it, and make it profitable?”<\/em> Without effort and intention, our dreams might collapse due to a lack of income. If we consider the family as a spiritual company<\/strong>, it too must evolve beyond being just a legal institution bound by a surname. We can turn it into a home where love and respect flourish<\/strong>, as long as we focus not just on forming<\/em> a family, but on becoming<\/em> one. <\/p>\n\n

We should not just sign the marriage certificate to get married\u2014but metaphorically sign up to change and transform<\/strong>, for our spouse, potential children, and most importantly, for ourselves<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

\n\n

Change Yourself to Change Your Family<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

By nature, we are programmed to want positive growth and change. Our purpose in life is to continually strive toward a better version of ourselves. In this sense, the “married version” of us should be a more evolved version than the “single us.” Just as people wait in long lines to upgrade to the latest phone, why wouldn\u2019t someone want to upgrade their own character? <\/p>\n\n

The formula for becoming a better \u201cme\u201d within the home is simple:Change yourself, and your family will change with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

People tend to focus on changing others\u2014which is rarely possible. Everything begins when you turn your gaze inward<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n

\n\n

From Background Actor to Lead Role<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

In happy families, everyone is the subject<\/strong> of the relationship, not just a passive participant. Being the subject means taking responsibility. It means choosing not just to be affected, but to be the one who acts<\/strong>. Such people use active verbs<\/strong> in their speech. They take responsibility\u2014good or bad\u2014and don’t prefer passivity. They speak up when necessary and stand behind their words. They know they’re the lead role<\/strong> in their own lives. <\/p>\n\n

\n\n

Is It Really Their Fault?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

Our choices show how active we are in life. If we often begin sentences in relationships with \u201cBecause of you…,\u201d we’re diminishing our own willpower. It\u2019s as if we\u2019re saying our behavior is controlled by someone else, rejecting our right to choose\u2014a power given to us directly by God. <\/p>\n\n

Every choice we make becomes a signpost<\/strong> in life, showing where we’re headed. It’s essential to act with conscience and take precautions<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n

\n\n

Emotional Termites Destroy Hope<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

Just like termites silently eat away at wood, emotional missteps<\/strong>, toxic habits, and constant negativity can gnaw away at our identity, our relationships, and our hope. We may end up saying, \u201cThere\u2019s no hope for us anymore.\u201d <\/p>\n\n

If we want a peaceful family life, we must realize it won\u2019t happen on its own or just by our partner\u2019s efforts. We have to take the initiative.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

The first step is to admit our mistakes<\/strong>. Just as there’s no forgiveness without repentance, there’s no change without acknowledging faults<\/strong>. In homes where spouses constantly blame each other, children may grow up with struggles in faith and human relationships<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n

\n\n

Can Families Have a Mission?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

Earlier, we compared the family to a spiritual company. Like any company, it needs a mission<\/strong>. A family without clear values, goals, or shared language is like a plane flying in circles until it runs out of fuel\u2014without ever landing anywhere. <\/p>\n\n

It\u2019s natural that not everyone\u2019s wishes will align perfectly. The key is to agree on a shared goal<\/strong>, and to create a fair environment<\/strong> where everyone’s needs are acknowledged. <\/p>\n\n

Even if family members are highly skilled as individuals, if they\u2019re not \u201cplaying the same notes,\u201d they won\u2019t produce harmonious music<\/strong>. Hence, it’s critical to build a family identity<\/strong> together. <\/p>\n\n

But today, we’re so busy with life\u2019s demands, acting like we\u2019re responsible for saving the world. Or we trap ourselves inside tiny digital bubbles. But ironically, someone who can\u2019t protect their close relationships has little chance of solving bigger problems. <\/p>\n\n

Strong family ties won\u2019t stop us from changing the world\u2014but those who begin with the world<\/strong> may risk losing their families<\/strong> in the process.<\/p>\n\n

\n\n

Family Time Matters<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

Since the family mission should unite all members, it must be formed collectively<\/strong>. This involves quality family time<\/strong>, where everyone\u2014including children\u2014can contribute. <\/p>\n\n

This time can take many forms depending on the family\u2019s personality. Some may prefer formal discussions at the dinner table, others might connect while traveling. The goal is that our intentions match our outcomes<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n

For the mission to be effective and accepted, here are a few tips:<\/p>\n\n

    \n
  • Choose a time and place where everyone feels relaxed.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Make sure everyone has a voice.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Keep discussions brief and to the point.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Talk about all<\/strong> family matters\u2014nothing is too small.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Allow decisions to be updated as needed.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Write down key points so they\u2019re not forgotten.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Summarize your mission in a short family statement.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Display it somewhere visible, if you like.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Make this a regular practice<\/strong>\u2014create a habit of connection.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n

    Family time isn\u2019t just about discussing problems and making decisions. Warm, respectful conversations<\/strong> are also part of it. Most often, these talks start at the dinner table or over tea. Without them, serious family meetings alone won’t create true intimacy. <\/p>\n\n

    \n\n

    Where Does My Family Rank?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

    We\u2019ve established the family, and even created a mission. Now comes the real challenge: balancing that mission<\/strong> with work, responsibilities, and personal goals. <\/p>\n\n

    Ask yourself: “Where does my family rank on my priority list?”<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

    Stephen R. Covey illustrates this with a personal story. While making his yearly schedule, he first adds important family events<\/strong>\u2014vacations, games, doctor visits\u2014to his calendar, before adding client meetings. <\/p>\n\n

    Do we do the same? Or do we wait for leftover<\/em> time to spend with our loved ones? <\/p>\n\n

    Prioritizing family doesn\u2019t mean abandoning everything else. It\u2019s about showing how much we value<\/strong> them through our actions. <\/p>\n\n

    President Eisenhower once said:<\/p>\n\n

    \u201cWhat is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important.\u201d<\/p>\n\n

    So we need to distinguish what\u2019s important vs. urgent<\/strong>, and plan accordingly\u2014like creating your own \u201crescue list\u201d for life.<\/p>\n\n

    \n\n

    In Families, Everyone Wins Together<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

    Families are not<\/strong> a competitive sports match. It\u2019s not Galatasaray vs. Fenerbah\u00e7e. It\u2019s not about who wins or scores more points. <\/p>\n\n

    If your child looks at you and doesn\u2019t see unity<\/strong> with your spouse\u2014if they\u2019re calculating \u201cwho\u2019s winning\u201d in your relationship\u2014then you\u2019ve already lost<\/strong> as a family.<\/p>\n\n

    Family relationships must follow a win-win<\/strong> philosophy. This requires teamwork. <\/p>\n\n

    Marriage is not an emotional competition. It’s a partnership where both can be happy. Like hydrogen and oxygen<\/strong>, who together form a completely new element\u2014water<\/strong>\u2014a couple forms a unique new being that is neither just him nor her, but something together<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n

    \n\n

    To Understand, Not Just Be Understood<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

    Everyone wants to be understood. It\u2019s the core reason we build relationships and get married. <\/p>\n\n

    Ne\u015fet Erta\u015f once sang: “There\u2019s a road from heart to heart.”<\/em>To walk this road, we must not only hear with our ears<\/strong>, but listen with our minds and hearts<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

    Understanding each other doesn\u2019t come from judging or correcting\u2014it requires time, patience, focus, empathy, respect, and compassion<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

    Without mutual understanding, a house is just a shelter\u2014not a home<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

    \n\n

    Family Math Works Differently<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

    Even with all these great strategies, the secret to a successful family is synergy<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n

    Let\u2019s say during conflict, the equation becomes:1 + 1 = 0.5<\/strong> \u2014 because we diminish each other.<\/p>\n\n

    If we make peace, it might become:1 + 1 = 1.5<\/strong> \u2014 one side gives more, the other less.<\/p>\n\n

    With teamwork, it becomes:1 + 1 = 2<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

    But with true synergy<\/strong>:1 + 1 = 3<\/strong><\/p>\n\n

    Where does the extra 1 come from? That\u2019s the interest earned<\/strong> on the investment made into the relationship. It\u2019s the blessing<\/strong> of love and effort. <\/p>\n\n

    Couples who choose humility over ego<\/strong>, who build on their strengths and overlook each other’s weaknesses, even let their children lead at times<\/strong>, helping them contribute to the family\u2019s values.<\/p>\n\n

    \n\n

    Don’t Forget Yourself<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

    Everything we’ve discussed takes effort, patience, and strength. Being a family<\/strong> is much harder than just starting one.<\/p>\n\n

    When we\u2019re tired, we need to return to ourselves<\/strong>\u2014find spiritual motivation. That\u2019s why just as we need family time, we also need personal time<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n

    Give yourself 2-3 hours occasionally. Share responsibilities with your spouse to rest. Take breaks from routine. Travel together, make memories. These become the glue that strengthens family bonds. <\/p>\n\n

    \n\n

    Ready to Stay on the Road?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n

    Becoming a family is not a one-time act. The journey starts after<\/em> the signature\u2014and, with God\u2019s help, continues until death. <\/p>\n\n

    It won\u2019t be easy. But giving up is not in our playbook<\/strong>. <\/p>\n\n

    If the tire bursts, we\u2019ll replace it. If the engine fails, we\u2019ll fix it. If the fuel runs out, we\u2019ll refill. As long as we want to remain a family<\/strong>, we won\u2019t abandon the car. <\/p>\n\n

    We won\u2019t wait for miracles\u2014we\u2019ll start with ourselves. Instead of envying other families, we\u2019ll write our own family story<\/strong>. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Aileyi, sadece nik\u00e2hla kurulan bir kurumdan \u00f6teye ta\u015f\u0131y\u0131p sevgi ve sayg\u0131n\u0131n ye\u015ferdi\u011fi bir yuvaya d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015ft\u00fcrmek i\u00e7in de\u011fi\u015fim \u015fart. Kendi geli\u015fimimize odaklanarak, hem kendimizi hem de ailemizi daha iyi bir noktaya getirmek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn. Bir \u015firket kurduk, ad\u0131n\u0131 koyduk, logosunu, hatta \u00fcr\u00fcnlerini bile haz\u0131rlad\u0131k diyelim. \u0130\u015fimiz burada biter mi? Kurduktan sonra \u201cBu \u015firketi nas\u0131l geli\u015ftirebilir, daha iyi […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9839","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9839","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=9839"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9839\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9840,"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9839\/revisions\/9840"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=9839"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=9839"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/elifnesibe.com\/tr\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=9839"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}