Words in Mentors!

In a Turkish folk song, it's said: "The guide is unnecessary, the end of the road is in sight." Is this really the case? Do we not need guides in life's journey? Or even if we correctly determine the destination, is our path fraught with surprises, both good and bad? If humans were solely reliant on their intellect and will, perhaps the office of prophecy wouldn't have been created, right?

We all need navigation systems that help us reach our destination in the shortest, easiest, and safest way possible. Not only do they provide directions but also warn us of pitfalls, and even suggest alternative routes when the road is congested or blocked. When we run out of gas or feel hungry, they should also provide alternative options, never ceasing to provide resources. Mentors are like driving instructors for young people who have just obtained their licenses and whose reflexes on the road have not yet reached the desired level. In this age where blood runs wild, hormones peak, crazy questions fill the mind, and energy is hard to contain, a young person with the right guide can overcome life's challenges as if riding a roller coaster, exhilarating yet safe and enjoyable. Just a few years ago, thanks to their mentor who had traversed the same paths, they gained the determination of "if they can do it, so can I," the reassurance of "I'm not alone in this," and the satisfaction of understanding born of empathy.

Thus, the young person can imagine their advanced version a few years later. They discover that the world doesn't revolve solely around them and that bringing good to others can bring springtime to their lives. Instead of spending their free time for their own pleasure, they learn where to invest their time, just like their guiding companion, their mentor. Moreover, this understanding driving instructor, when needed, plays music to distract us and reduces tension with witty conversations when necessary. But they never hesitate to remind us: "Remember, you're the driver!"

Our first guides are, of course, our parents. They are our first lenses through which we view life. As we age, we want to see the world with our own eyes. We carefully put away the glasses our parents gave us, but our weaknesses, deficiencies, and inexperience become more apparent without them. Nevertheless, with the tremendous confidence of youth, we want to live without glasses. At that moment, a friend, a sibling comes to us, seeing what we can't see, explaining the parts of life that we find difficult to understand.

This effort deserves as much appreciation as it brings difficulties and responsibilities. Mentors learn on one hand, apply what they've learned, and share it with younger ones. However, to be a good guide to someone else, one must first be a good person oneself. Just as water is a source of life in its presence and a cause of death in its absence, mentoring, when executed correctly, can bring joy and perseverance to life, while when done incorrectly, it can lead to despair and alienation.

Moreover, the people we call guides are young themselves! Although they have more experience compared to the students they guide, they are not yet adults. We often say to our elder child, "You're now a big brother/sister!" but in reality, they're still children. The situation of mentors is just like that. Despite their efforts, altruism, idealism, and spiritual sensitivity, they too have egos, stumble, get tired, and sometimes make mistakes.

As Nevbahar magazine, we wanted to learn about the profession of mentoring from young people who try to practice it voluntarily. We listened to them as they tried to guide today's youth in vastly different parts of the world, while also trying to guide themselves. We posed the same question to the students of old and the guides of today: "What are the three indispensable qualities in a mentor?" The common answer we received was "Love, respect, understanding." I learned a lot from all of them. Hopefully, what's narrated in this file will guide us all on how to mentor effectively.